Over the past few days, I’ve realized how amazing it is to be needed. I’ve always loved the feeling, but over the past few days, I’ve realized how special it is. To know that someone needs you, but also knowing that simply “being there” is enough. I’ve been needed by a friend recently, and I love it. I love knowing that me just being present is a huge help.
We all face difficulties throughout our lives, and through it all, it helps to have a friend by your side. Someone to help you through it and keep you busy so you don’t have time to dwell on the hard parts. Personally, I know that without my friends, certain days would just be unbearable. They make me laugh when I feel like crying, all the while helping me see all the good things that are in my life. I’ve been described as an “all-or-nothing” type, and I guess I am. The type who can dwell on certain things for a while and has to be reminded to focus on the good. I think over the past few months, I’ve attempted to redirect that focus. This past Friday when I was at my weekly restorative yoga class, I began to realize where my mind drifted when I was striving to “be present.” It wandered to homework and classes and grocery lists and my schedule of things for the week. I realized that my mind didn’t seem to wander to the happy things. Out of habit, it focused on the “to-do” lists and the mundane things that needed to be done. Though this was aggravating, it was something that helped me.
In connection with the feeling of being needed, it’s been nice to take the focus away from myself. Though I don’t feel like I constantly focus on myself, I know that my continued worry and anxiety may make it seem like that. Therefore, over the past few days, it’s been nice to be able to focus all of my attention on the happiness and well-being of someone else. Ultimately, I feel like this is an important concept to learn to master since I’m planning to go into a career of counseling. Just learning the concept of focusing my energy and attention on the person in front of me rather than focusing on myself. However, in terms of being a counselor, it’s important to feel completely confident in one’s past, flaws, and all sorts of different things that make us unique. Because first and foremost, we’ve got to want to help ourselves if we want to feel confident in helping others, right?
lifeintheblueridges 
So true, Amelia. The knowledge that we can be strong for someone else–that someone else needs us to be strong for them–is the ultimate cure for anxiety, I think.
As I therapist your desire to feel needed resonates with me. It is a great feeling. I think one of the challenges is the balance you alluded to. While we can enjoy feeling needed our own validation should come from inside of us. We can’t be completely dependent on external validation…that seems like a sure fire way to be continually disappointed. So the balance of strong internal validation along with the warm, fulfilling feelings of being needed is important. Being a therapist, or other helping profession, seems like a healthy way to get that feeling as long as we validate ourselves in our personal lives.
So true about when the mind wanders it focuses on to-do lists and mundane things! Thanks for helping me realise that – now you’ve pointed it out I can try and focus on better, more inspirational things!