Tag Archives: Positivity

Why I Love Working With Dying Children.

2 Dec

I read an article recently by a woman who teaches poetry and prose to dying children. Throughout the article, the author regularly mentioned how a certain little boy’s death would one day prevent her from ever returning to work. That little boy became another little girl who became yet another child. They all faced something we don’t talk enough about: death. Eventually, the author mentioned how this work contains so much sadness and fragility, and yet it is also the work she could never dream of walking away from.

Ever since August of 2013, I have been interning with Arts For Life, a NC-based non-profit organization focused on teaching art to children and families battling serious illnesses and disabilities. Specifically, I work with two populations of children: children undergoing treatment for cancer and other blood disorders and children undergoing physical, occupational, or speech therapy. I began this internship for a variety of reasons. However, the main one was due to my previous hospital experiences. As a child, I had to undergo three intense surgeries, which later included intense physical therapy, and I spent all this time in the hospital. During this time, the one bright spot in all the days of physical pain, tears, and uncertainty was the weekly craft nights. For one hour every week, I got to focus on making an art project rather than dwelling on how much pain I was in, which exercises I needed to do, or an upcoming surgery. Having a chance to put all my energy into something completely outside of myself helped to decrease some of my anxiety. Some of those nights, I dare say I might have even been happy. Due to my enjoyable experiences with art projects in the hospital, I knew I wanted to provide these same opportunities for other kids in the hospital.

Ever since I started teaching art projects to kids in the hospital, I have loved every minute of it. I love seeing the regular kids every week who have finally gotten used to me and will come up and just start talking. I love watching the kids burst with creativity, coming up with an alternative project I hadn’t even considered. I love seeing the smiles on their faces when they finish their project and run to show their parents. I love finding new ways to teach the children. However, more than anything, I love being able to take in all the different lessons they’ve ended up teaching me without even knowing it.

They have taught me the true meaning of strength. They have taught me what it means to not let an illness define you. They’ve taught me how “art” and “perfect” are rarely in the same sentence, and that’s perfectly okay. More than anything, they’ve taught me the importance of noticing the small things. One little girl I know is battling cancer, and yet she is one of the happiest little girls I know. She smiles, she laughs, and she plays. Most importantly, she does one thing I believe we often forget. She notices every moment: every smile, every time of laughter, every speck of blue sky. She absorbs every single piece of life, soaking it all in. I try more and more each day to live like her, but I’ve got a long way to go.

Numerous friends have asked me how I am able to be around kids who are dying. And you know what my response is? “How could I not?” These kids need me. They need the chance to be able to fully express themselves. They need a positive person in their lives who can bring something good into their hospital experience. They need someone who cares. A few years ago, I never imagined that person could be me, and yet, here I am.

I have yet to lose one of the children I teach. The more I read the article written by the woman who teaches poetry and prose to dying children, the more I’ve begun to understand that we all deal with death in our own way. How I react to losing a child I teach may not be the same way one of the child’s nurses might react. That being said, the important thing to remember is even if I lose I child I teach, there are still tons of other children who need me. Though one day may feel quiet as I mourn the loss of a particular child I cared for, there will be more children coming to clinic the following day, and I need to be the best I can be for them. Being sad around them isn’t my job. If I’m sad, they’ll get sad. That’s why positivity is so important.

Teaching art to children with serious illnesses and disabilities is not easy, but it is the first thing I’ve ever done that’s given me a deep sense of purpose. Seeing the smile on a little boy’s face means I was part of his happiness. Having a little girl cling to my leg begging me not to leave warms my heart more than she will ever know. I just hope one day these children will know how much they have changed my life.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.-Plato

Advertisements

The Feeling Of Being Needed.

16 Jan

Over the past few days, I’ve realized how amazing it is to be needed. I’ve always loved the feeling, but over the past few days, I’ve realized how special it is. To know that someone needs you, but also knowing that simply “being there” is enough. I’ve been needed by a friend recently, and I love it. I love knowing that me just being present is a huge help.

We all face difficulties throughout our lives, and through it all, it helps to have a friend by your side. Someone to help you through it and keep you busy so you don’t have time to dwell on the hard parts. Personally, I know that without my friends, certain days would just be unbearable. They make me laugh when I feel like crying, all the while helping me see all the good things that are in my life. I’ve been described as an “all-or-nothing” type, and I guess I am. The type who can dwell on certain things for a while and has to be reminded to focus on the good. I think over the past few months, I’ve attempted to redirect that focus. This past Friday when I was at my weekly restorative yoga class, I began to realize where my mind drifted when I was striving to “be present.” It wandered to homework and classes and grocery lists and my schedule of things for the week. I realized that my mind didn’t seem to wander to the happy things. Out of habit, it focused on the “to-do” lists and the mundane things that needed to be done. Though this was aggravating, it was something that helped me.

In connection with the feeling of being needed, it’s been nice to take the focus away from myself. Though I don’t feel like I constantly focus on myself, I know that my continued worry and anxiety may make it seem like that. Therefore, over the past few days, it’s been nice to be able to focus all of my attention on the happiness and well-being of someone else. Ultimately, I feel like this is an important concept to learn to master since I’m planning to go into a career of counseling. Just learning the concept of focusing my energy and attention on the person in front of me rather than focusing on myself. However, in terms of being a counselor, it’s important to feel completely confident in one’s past, flaws, and all sorts of different things that make us unique. Because first and foremost, we’ve got to want to help ourselves if we want to feel confident in helping others, right?