I found out this afternoon that my first dog (who is very, very old now), Max, will need to be put to sleep tomorrow. Max has been living with my grandparents for a number of years, who live right down the street from us, because their dog, Joe, who was put to sleep last summer, was Max’s best friend. During the last few years that Max was living with us, he frequently got out of our yard and went up to my grandparents’ house to be with Joe. It reached a point where we realized that Max would be happier with Joe. However, we always showed him love on the days when he’d come down to visit us.
Today I went down to my grandparents’ house to see Max one last time. My dad and I found him on the screen porch laying down in his cage. Due to Max’s age, he hasn’t been able to see or hear hardly at all for quite some time. Therefore, when Max had his back to us when my dad and I came into the screen porch, my dad had to reach in and turn Max around so that he was facing us. Even though I know that Max probably didn’t recognize us, my heart broke when I saw him. He didn’t seem to be in pain. He just seemed tired. I could see it in his eyes. Though he didn’t have the energy to move towards me, that didn’t stop me from holding him and crying harder than I ever have. Part of my heart broke this afternoon. For the loss of Max and for the amount of love that I have for him. Since he was my very first dog, he was my first indication of the amount of love that one can have for an animal.
Max loved playing fetch. You could throw a tennis ball for him over and over again, and he’d never get tired. Often times, I was the one who had to eventually stop playing, even though Max would continue to drop the ball at my feet and look up at me with excitement and anticipation, wondering where I would throw the ball next. My dad brought a tennis ball with him when we went to see Max one last time today, and the fact that Max didn’t even have the energy to hold the ball in his mouth was heartbreaking. Max also loved water. Any time we would take him for a walk out on my grandparents’ farm, he would always run straight into the pond, no matter the outside temperature. He loved swimming, and when you added playing fetch while he was swimming in the pond, you could see that he was just happy as a clam.
Though I know that after tomorrow Max will finally be at peace and will finally be able to be near Joe again (since Max will be buried next to Joe), it’s no easier for those of us who have to go on living without him. Though some people would make the comment that Max is just a dog, anyone who has ever had a dog knows that they aren’t just a pet. They are a part of your family. Heck, in our family, our dogs (Max, Roxy, and Hoss), who are all springer spaniels, have had their own Christmas stockings for as long as they have been in our family. They are one of us, and that’s all there is to it. Though I am sad to lose Max, I am happy to still have Roxy and Hoss to show my love to. When I came back from saying goodbye to Max today, I curled up on the couch and held on to Roxy as I cried. I figured she knew something was wrong since she looked up at me and licked my face. Even though that made me cry harder, I don’t know what I would have done if I would have lost Max and then had to come home to a house without dogs. It would make things so much harder.
The wonderful thing about dogs though is the fact that they have only love to give. Growing up, Max didn’t care that I had CP or that I was different. In his eyes, as long as I showed him love, he loved me right back. Sometimes I wonder how the world would be different if we as humans could have that sort of mentality. Granted, each one of us is too judgemental for that. However, in a dog’s mind, “all you need is love.”
Getting Published For The Third Time?!
30 AprA little over two weeks ago, I wrote a Photo Friday post about the Holstee Manifesto poster and the fact that it has impacted my life, which can be read here. Four days later, I received a blog comment from Mary Shouvlin, a member of the Holstee team. She mentioned that Holstee is putting together a website that is made up of people’s’ stories of how the poster has impacted their life, and she asked me to include my story and a photo of myself to include on the website when it goes live.
I was truly shocked at this amazing opportunity. Since beginning blogging, I never imagined that it could be such a wonderful way to connect with people and allow my writing to be recognized by so many people. The same day I received the blog comment from Mary, I sent her my story. I was so excited to finally get “published” again that I simply couldn’t wait even a day to express how the Holstee Manifesto has impacted my life.
When I interned with the Columbia Star newspaper in January of 2009, I had 2 articles published. The first is basically my life story, and the article that I’m most proud of. The second, a commentary, was an article I wrote as if I was the SC Superintendent of Education. Though the second article wasn’t as personal, it taught me how to research a topic that I’d need to write about, which is much different from researching a topic that you’ve got to write a paper on for school. Anyway, both of the articles that I wrote for the Columbia star can be found here. It was an amazing feeling when I was first published. There’s something magical about seeing my words in print and being recognized for them.
Even though what I’ve written for the Holstee site won’t be in print, it will still be connected with my name, and it’ll still be “published” since my name will be connected to what I’ve written, which will also include the picture of me that is on my “About Me” page on this blog. Anyway, I’m excited to be published for a third time, and I will be sure to let all of you know when the site goes live so that you can read what I’ve written.
For information on how you can write your own story on how the Holstee Manifesto has impacted you, go here.
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