The similarities between music and writing.

Last night, my friend Olive and I went to see a band called First Aid Kit perform at the Orange Peel, a popular, but small live music venue in downtown Asheville. First Aid Kit is “a Swedish folk duo composed of sisters Johanna and Klara Söderberg, whose close vocal harmonies and woodsy, folk-influenced songwriting take influence from the likes of Fleet Foxes and Joanna Newsom.”

I first recognized the connection between music and writing when First Aid Kit played their song, “Emmylou.” Take a look at the chorus of the song:

I’ll be your Emmylou and I’ll be your June
If you’ll be my Gram and my Johnny too
No, I’m not asking much of you
Just sing little darling, sing with me

Even though this song specifically refers to singing, I feel like it can apply to writing as well. The great thing about singing (and writing) is that even though it can be a one-person job, the pure joy in it is found when it’s shared with others. Yes, the majority of the time when I write, I write for me. I used to sing as well, and when I did so, it was mainly due to the fact that it made me happy. However, how lonely would writing be (and singing for that matter) if we weren’t able to touch people with our words and music? In my opinion, it wouldn’t be nearly as rewarding. Yes, it is an incredible feeling when I’m able to write out a specific memory and know that simply writing it out has brought me a sense of comfort that wasn’t there before. However, I don’t think I would be able to push through my writing ruts and my bad writing days if it weren’t for the people who were supporting me and encouraging me to keep on writing. I feel like it’s very similar in terms of singing. After all, when you go to concerts, you always hear the musicians constantly thanking their listeners for their love and support. I have no doubt that in their minds, they wouldn’t have been able to push through the hard days of songwriting without the support and love from their fans.

Though there were so many years that I wrote simply for me and me alone, that focus has definitely shifted over the last year. Even though I still do write for myself due to the fact that it’s incredibly therapeutic, I also write in order to impact others with my words. I write to share my story. However, I share my story because I want it to help others: others with CP, others who want a window into what CP is like (like the parents and friends of kids with CP), others who don’t know much about CP but have a desire to learn. Without the presence of those “others” wanting and needing me to keep sharing my story, writing about my life would be so much harder. Therefore, it is because of the support and encouragement from all of you that I am able to sit down at my computer every day and share my story, though some days it seems to come together very slowly. Thankfully, there’s no time frame for my writing. The only required constant is writing something, anything every day.

To Grace (Part Four): Finding Your Voice.

In case you are visiting my blog for the first time, here are the previous posts that go with this series: To Grace, To Grace (Part Two): Walking Through The Fire, and To Grace (Part Three): Accepting Love.

Dear Grace,

I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. A few weeks ago (when I was still in Ireland), your mom posted a video on her Facebook page of you singing a song that you had written. As I sat in Ireland with my computer in my lap listening to you sing words that you had written, I smiled. I smiled, but I also cried. During the entire video of you singing something that you had written, there was one thought going through my head: Grace has found her voice as a writer, just like I did at her age.

The video caught me off guard though because I never knew that you had started writing. Even though I saw you about six months ago, we don’t often have the chance to sit and talk for long periods of time. Normally I’m just able to see you during the times that I come to Columbia to have lunch with Meredith (your physical therapist who was also one of my physical therapists). However, when I do have lunch with Meredith, I try to make it a Tuesday because I know that you have a session with her on Tuesdays right after her lunch break.

In terms of writing a song though, I’m so happy and proud that you are beginning to find your voice as a writer. Though I know that what you write is probably very different from what I wrote at your age (since you are very strong in your faith and gain strength from it but I’m not religious), that doesn’t make me any less proud. Writing in itself, no matter the content, is a coping mechanism in a sense. It’s a way that we can make some sense of what it is that we are feeling. However, that doesn’t mean that a small part of me isn’t a little bit worried. When I was your age and found my love of writing, my parents took advantage of the fact that I had found a hobby in which I wasn’t limited by my CP by signing me up for all sorts of writing camps. I went to a creative writing camp for 3 consecutive summers at USC and then went to the creative writing summer program at the SC Governor’s School of the Arts and Humanities. The game changer for me was the summer I spent at the SC Governor’s School. I grew as a writer that summer (though I know that I wouldn’t have gotten to where I am in my writing now without starting this blog back in November of last year). Anyway, the summer I spent at the Governor’s School gave me something that I needed: confidence. After that summer program was over, I made the decision to apply to the SC Governor’s School of Arts and Humanities for the regular school year, which was a residential high school for juniors and seniors who were interested in an area of the arts, such as creative writing, drawing, or theatre. I worked really hard on the story that I submitted for the application and also took part in an interview that was part of the overall application. It was a very scary part in my life. Not scary as in painful, but scary in the fact that everything seemed to ride on whether I was accepted for the program or not.

That was my biggest mistake: putting all my hopes into that one basket. When I didn’t get accepted, I entered a dark place for quite a while. I was depressed, I didn’t want to talk to anyone, and I decided right then that I didn’t want to write anymore. I gave up. Though I wrote a little bit here and there during my first year at boarding school, it was nothing like I had written before, so I took a pretty long writing break. However, when my need to write came back to me in the fall of last year, I didn’t fight it. I welcomed it almost like you welcome back an old friend who you haven’t seen in years but who fits perfectly in your life as if you had seen them yesterday.

I guess what I’m trying to say Grace is I feel like you and I are just so similar. We both have CP, we both got involved with community theatre, and now you’re writing, just like me. Even though I’m so happy that you have begun to find your voice as a writer, I just hope that you aren’t so much like me that you get continually frustrated with yourself. Even though I’m trying to work on not being so critical of my own writing, even Stephen King says that we are our own worst critic. However, that being said, write because you love it. Write because it’s something you need and not merely something you want. And if writing doesn’t do that for you, that’s okay. You’re young, and you have all the time in the world to find that one thing that makes you feel alive: that one thing that makes you want to live instead of merely exist. Wanting to live fully and without hesitation is huge for us Grace, at least for me….especially considering all the pain we’ve been through. However, now I know from personal experience that it’s possible. It’s not exactly easy. I’ve been to hell and back with my writing. I’ve loved it, I’ve given up on it, but in the end, I’ve welcomed it back. I’ve welcomed it back because that is what we do for the things or people we love.

Love,

Amelia

Possibly Entering The Songwriting World.

A few days ago, a friend of mine asked me why I wasn’t a songwriter. And for informative purposes, this was the third time she’s asked me this particular question. Mostly though, I think I’d just never considered it. I’m a huge music lover. I have music playing pretty much constantly. My music taste includes country, pop, rock, folk, acoustic, bluegrass, and some rap. So yeah, I like pretty much anything in terms of music. I also constantly find myself singing along to the radio or my ipod. In terms of the writing portion of songwriting though, I’ve got that covered. As I’ve explained before, I started writing when I was young, and at a young age, it was a huge part of my life. It’s what I turned to when things got hard, and that was quite a bit. Despite taking a break from writing for the last 2 years, I’ve re-discovered my love for it through my daily posts on this blog.

So, when you put two and two together, I guess it could be a curious thing to wonder why I’m not a songwriter, especially since I used to write poetry constantly. And aren’t songs just poems with a specific stanza that repeats? With my love of music and writing, why not combine them? So, after some thought over the past couple of days, I’ve decided to give it a shot. I mean, it can’t hurt right?

I wrote my first song yesterday, and I’m moving back and forth as to whether I want to share it with all of you. I sent the lyrics to my friend who suggested I write songs and also told her that I had come up with it in a matter of minutes, and she was incredibly impressed. However, I’m pretty sure I can come up with better songs. So, I’ll hold off on sharing until I feel more sure of myself.

So, now to all of you, has there ever been something that someone suggested you try, but you didn’t really know how to respond since you’d never really given it much thought? And if you have been in that kind of situation, do you try that something in order to please the person who suggested it or do you try it because you’re curious as to whether you can succeed? I feel like others positive opinions of us can sometimes be tricky. I mean, yes it feels good when someone compliments you for a talent, but living up to that can be hard. Living up to the expectations others place on you can be more difficult than trying to figure out your own feelings about those expectations. But then again, people’s expectations come from somewhere. They don’t just appear out of the blue. So maybe it’s possible than an expectation that someone else sees isn’t necessarily not present, but it’s just in a place that you haven’t discovered yet. But either way, it’s worth a shot. And if you try and you don’t succeed, isn’t that better than not trying at all?