Tag Archives: Dancing

To those who taught me to dream.

2 Jul

When I was little, I wanted nothing more than to be a ballerina. Around Christmastime, my grandmother would take me to see The Nutcracker at the Koger Center. As I sat up in the balcony in my checkered dress and patent leather shoes, I stared with admiration at the character of Clara. I imagined myself twirling around in my own leotard with a toy nutcracker in my hands, lost in the music and a dance that was all my own. When I got home from seeing The Nutcracker, I’d put on my leotard and tutu, grab a favorite stuffed animal at the time, and twirl in circles to the music only I could hear.

It was in those moments, in the safety of my childhood bedroom, that I began to dream, imagining doing things I knew I wouldn’t be able to do in reality due to my disability. I imagined dancing with a grace I had seen only in ballerinas. I put on my ballet shoes and twirled until my unstable balance got the best of me and I fell to the floor in frustration. I even remember asking my parents if I could take ballet lessons, determined to learn how to create the beauty I had seen in the character of Clara. The opportunity never arose though, simply because I didn’t have the balance to be a ballerina. Despite walking on my tiptoes, twirling around in circles on those same tiptoes was out of the question.

As I got older and I filled my head with more realistic dreams, I never stopped imagining doing the things I’d never be able to fully experience. I thought of dancing to the music of my world. I imagined running down the street and feeling the wind on my face as I chased the orange and red sunset I saw in the distance. I pictured myself climbing the huge oak tree in my backyard, wanting nothing more than to find a sturdy limb I could sit on so I could rest my back against the tree’s broad trunk and escape into my favorite book. The creative imagination I possessed placed me right into the worlds I dreamed, though I knew I was so far away from actually experiencing them.

I am forever grateful to the people throughout my life who have encouraged my imagination and dreams. Though I was constantly reminded by other kids around me of the things I was unable to do, so many of the adult figures in my life understood the importance of believing in my creativity. Because of those individuals, I have learned what it means to still hope and strive for the things that still seem a bit out of reach. Through my ability to dream, I developed a determination that has propelled me through my life, despite stumbling again and again. While I may not have had the chance to be a ballerina who twirls endlessly with the grace of a perfect melody, I have sung my heart out at a voice recital, capturing an entire room with the simple sound of my voice. I have participated in theatre productions, achieving my moment in the spotlight by being Glinda the Good Witch in The Wizard of Oz. I have written of specific moments of pain during the months following intense operations, creating the same tears in the eyes of my readers that I possessed during my moments of defeat. Though I may not have had the chance to live the experiences I longed for, I have continued to move to the song of my own life, continuously grateful to those who taught me to dream and create my own destiny.

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My own kind of ballerina.

28 Aug

When I was a little girl, my grandmother took me to see The Nutcracker every year at Christmastime. I’d put on my black and white checkered dress and my patent leather shoes, and my grandmother and I would drive up to the Koger Center in Columbia. As I sat in the audience watching the Sugar Plum Fairies dance, I’d think about what it would be like to be a ballerina. I’d watch the gracefulness of their movements and imagine being able to move almost effortlessly. That’s what it looked like to me: like the ballerinas were moving so fluidly that it was as if they were floating on air.

Even though I was never able to take ballet lessons, I did as much as I could to feel like a ballerina. I bought a pink leotard and pink ballet shoes. I even had to have a bright pink tutu with sparkles. The tutu was my favorite part. I loved the fact that I could spin around and around and the tutu would fly up like a balloon. I remember feeling pretty, and I remember the days that I would spin around in my leotard, tutu and ballet shoes like I was a true ballerina. Simply wearing the outfit was enough for me.

I got my own experience of being a ballerina when I joined the Calhoun Players, a community theatre group in my town. However, in the beginning, it wasn’t like I imagined it to be. Even though I got to dance on stage, for many of the productions I was placed in the back. Though I knew that it was because there were other people who were better dancers than I was, we all want to have a chance to shine. I got my chance in 2007 thanks to my theater director, Chuck. In 2007, I was in the cast of the Wizard of Oz. However, the best part was that for the first time since getting involved with the Calhoun Players in 2001, I wasn’t in the chorus. I had one of the main roles. I played Glenda the Good Witch. Even though I didn’t necessarily play the part of a ballerina, playing the part of Glenda was the closest that I’ve ever gotten, and it was probably one of the happiest moments of my life. I wore a blue sparkly dress that had puffy sleeves and a puffy bodice. It wasn’t a leotard and a tutu, but in my opinion, it was even better. I also had a wand, and I wore a tiara on my head. I felt so happy in those moments on stage that I felt like I was going to burst from happiness. The “shining” moment for me during those performances (other than playing Glenda and feeling as pretty as a ballerina) was getting to stand out on stage in my pretty outfit and sing a solo. For a few minutes during each performance, all eyes were on me. However, for the first time in my life, people were staring at me in awe rather than looking at me and wondering what was wrong with me. Granted, it probably wasn’t the first time I was looked at in awe or happiness, but it felt like a first time for me since I had grown so accustomed to being stared at in a negative way.

As I sat in the audience of The Nutcracker performance, I didn’t know that one day I would be able to be my own kind of ballerina. Even though it wouldn’t be in the way that I imagined, I feel like it was much better. Rather than sitting in the audience watching the performance, I got to be the one on stage. I may not have gotten the chance to dance like the Sugar Plum Fairies, but I got to do something I loved even more: I got to sing. I got to sing like I’ve never sung before, holding a wand and wearing a tiara. I got to wear a blue sparkly puffy dress that still hangs in my closet at home, reminding me of the moment that I got to feel like my own kind of ballerina.

When in Ireland, don’t bash all cover bands.

14 Jul

Before last night, I wasn’t a fan of listening to a cover band perform instead of listening to traditional Irish music. However, after hearing an Ireland rock cover band called The Antics perform at The Spanish Arch last night, I was reminded how much I miss rock music. Plus, two of the musicians weren’t bad to look at, so that definitely helps, right?

When Alex and I first got to The Spanish Arch, the pub was packed with people and there was hardly any place to sit. However, I soon realized that once we got our drinks and just meandered, eventually a table would free up. Last night we got extremely lucky and snagged a table that was pretty much right in front of the stage.

I told myself before we went out last night that I’d stick to buying one drink of Bulmer’s and then just see where things went. I’m glad that I stuck to this strategy. On the second song that The Antics played, two guys (both in suits. Why are guys in suits so much more attractive?) came out in front of the band and started dancing. There was another guy with them as well, but he seemed content to just watch the two other guys make fools of themselves. They were completely hilarious though. I couldn’t seem to stop laughing. At one point, one of the guys (the drunker of the two) asked Alex to dance. At first she declined, but then when he got happily down on his knees and begged she gave in and danced with him. It was so funny to watch. You could tell that all of the guys were enjoying themselves. After Alex danced with the drunkest guy, he came back a few minutes later and apologized profusely. Maybe he had realized then how drunk he was. Either way, at that point Alex and I came to the conclusion that the two guys who had started dancing in the first place were really gay (or just so drunk that it seemed like they were gay)…which was fine, but it was also very unfortunate since one of the guys (not the one that danced with Alex but the other one) was pretty cute. Anyway, since the guy of the group who was the most drunk reached the point of trying to get one of the security guards to dance with him, he was told to leave the pub, so the two guys he was with followed him. Since they had to leave in order to accompany their super drunk friend, they asked Alex and I if we wanted the rest of their Bulmer’s, and we happily took the cider off of their hands. Getting free drinks two nights in a row? I could get used to this.

The night got even better when the band played “Wagon Wheel” by Old Crow Medicine Show. I got so excited when the band was about to play it that I screamed really loud, and the lead singer responded: “Holy shit.” In my head I was thinking: “Hey, I’m just being the music lover/music supporter that I am. There’s nothing wrong with enthusiasm for a band, especially if I’m at a pub in Ireland. Sheesh, dude.” Anyway, the band members were surprised when a few people in the pub knew all the words to “Wagon Wheel.” I didn’t make a motion to say that I was originally from North Carolina. I was satisfied to just lose myself in the fact that I was hearing one of my favorite songs in a pub in Ireland. So, so cool. The unfortunate part of hearing “Wagon Wheel” was the fact that it made me pretty homesick for a few songs afterwards. However, once The Antics started playing songs by Blink 182 and The Red Hot Chili Peppers, the homesickness had passed.

It was a really fun night, especially because we stayed the entire time that the band played. However, that meant not leaving The Spanish Arch until about 2am. Though that was fine with Alex, I had hit my limit at about 1am. At that point, I began to find all the super drunk people really annoying, especially because by that point 2 people had almost spilled their drinks all over me. Thankfully, I didn’t end up getting beer spilled on me, but I wouldn’t have been happy if an entire drink would have landed in my lap. Though I was pretty much “done” with the whole scene by 1am, I knew that I didn’t want to walk all the way back home by myself. Plus, since it was Friday night, I knew there would be more people on the streets, and the mantra “There’s safety in numbers” wouldn’t leave my head (plus the fact that I knew that Alex carried pepper spray with her at all times). So, even though we didn’t get home until about 2:30am and my back pain was insane by that point (which I’m guessing was because we had gone out the night before last too), it was a really fun night. However, going out 2 nights in a row is as much as I can do at this point, so tonight will be spending reading and resting up, especially since we leave early tomorrow morning for our day trip to the Aran Islands.

Tuesday’s Tunes: The Valentine’s Day Edition.

14 Feb

First off, Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! My day has been pretty good. Aside from classes and work, my dad sent me a dozen roses, and my mom sent me homemade chocolate chip cookies.

Yeah, I’m one lucky girl today. 🙂 Also, I just got back from going out to eat Mexican food with a bunch of friends. It was nice to be able to get dressed up to go out. Anyways, on with the song I’ve picked for my special Valentine’s Day Edition of Tuesday’s Tunes. I’ve chosen Everything by Michael Buble. It’s an upbeat song that has to do with love. Instead of sitting around hating February 14th, why not get up and dance? Anyway, check out “Everything” if you haven’t heard it. It’s a really catchy song!