My own kind of ballerina.

28 Aug

When I was a little girl, my grandmother took me to see The Nutcracker every year at Christmastime. I’d put on my black and white checkered dress and my patent leather shoes, and my grandmother and I would drive up to the Koger Center in Columbia. As I sat in the audience watching the Sugar Plum Fairies dance, I’d think about what it would be like to be a ballerina. I’d watch the gracefulness of their movements and imagine being able to move almost effortlessly. That’s what it looked like to me: like the ballerinas were moving so fluidly that it was as if they were floating on air.

Even though I was never able to take ballet lessons, I did as much as I could to feel like a ballerina. I bought a pink leotard and pink ballet shoes. I even had to have a bright pink tutu with sparkles. The tutu was my favorite part. I loved the fact that I could spin around and around and the tutu would fly up like a balloon. I remember feeling pretty, and I remember the days that I would spin around in my leotard, tutu and ballet shoes like I was a true ballerina. Simply wearing the outfit was enough for me.

I got my own experience of being a ballerina when I joined the Calhoun Players, a community theatre group in my town. However, in the beginning, it wasn’t like I imagined it to be. Even though I got to dance on stage, for many of the productions I was placed in the back. Though I knew that it was because there were other people who were better dancers than I was, we all want to have a chance to shine. I got my chance in 2007 thanks to my theater director, Chuck. In 2007, I was in the cast of the Wizard of Oz. However, the best part was that for the first time since getting involved with the Calhoun Players in 2001, I wasn’t in the chorus. I had one of the main roles. I played Glenda the Good Witch. Even though I didn’t necessarily play the part of a ballerina, playing the part of Glenda was the closest that I’ve ever gotten, and it was probably one of the happiest moments of my life. I wore a blue sparkly dress that had puffy sleeves and a puffy bodice. It wasn’t a leotard and a tutu, but in my opinion, it was even better. I also had a wand, and I wore a tiara on my head. I felt so happy in those moments on stage that I felt like I was going to burst from happiness. The “shining” moment for me during those performances (other than playing Glenda and feeling as pretty as a ballerina) was getting to stand out on stage in my pretty outfit and sing a solo. For a few minutes during each performance, all eyes were on me. However, for the first time in my life, people were staring at me in awe rather than looking at me and wondering what was wrong with me. Granted, it probably wasn’t the first time I was looked at in awe or happiness, but it felt like a first time for me since I had grown so accustomed to being stared at in a negative way.

As I sat in the audience of The Nutcracker performance, I didn’t know that one day I would be able to be my own kind of ballerina. Even though it wouldn’t be in the way that I imagined, I feel like it was much better. Rather than sitting in the audience watching the performance, I got to be the one on stage. I may not have gotten the chance to dance like the Sugar Plum Fairies, but I got to do something I loved even more: I got to sing. I got to sing like I’ve never sung before, holding a wand and wearing a tiara. I got to wear a blue sparkly puffy dress that still hangs in my closet at home, reminding me of the moment that I got to feel like my own kind of ballerina.

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12 Responses to “My own kind of ballerina.”

  1. Lisa W. Rosenberg August 28, 2012 at 11:04 am #

    Such a beautiful story, Amelia! And such a beautiful Glinda too!!

  2. LA Edwards August 28, 2012 at 4:55 pm #

    Beautiful…..

  3. 4amWriter August 28, 2012 at 6:17 pm #

    Love it! You carry off ‘magical’ beautifully.

  4. belasbrightideas August 28, 2012 at 9:21 pm #

    Ohmygod, this is the most precious picture ever! We share: patent leather shoes, the desire to be a ballerina (although I much preferred a circus performer) and a love of singing. The stage part frightened me so that I never pursued it seriously – good w/that stuff in private, less so in public 😉 Sweet post.

    • ameliaclaire92 August 28, 2012 at 10:49 pm #

      Aw thank you so much. Surprisingly, I get super nervous when I’m up on stage or in front of a bunch of people. I didn’t let it stop me though. 🙂

      • belasbrightideas August 28, 2012 at 11:17 pm #

        Good for you! That’s the ‘healthy’ stage fright I hear of. Mine was the other kind 😉

      • ameliaclaire92 August 28, 2012 at 11:19 pm #

        Ah, I see. 🙂

      • belasbrightideas August 29, 2012 at 12:34 am #

        But it all worked out. It seriously seems that this life for me is about supporting other people and doing my work in the wings, so to speak. Which I love!

  5. Kat August 29, 2012 at 11:29 am #

    I awarded your blog the Sunshine Award for being an inspiration! Check it out on my blog: http://kat-collins.com/2012/08/29/i-got-an-award-oh-goodie/

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