True Writing Lies In Vulnerability.

29 Mar

“Your task is not to seek love, but to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”-Rumi

I came across this quote by Rumi this morning, and for a while, I just sat and stared at it. Do you ever come across those quotes that seem to say what’s in your heart better than you’re able to say it yourself? Well, this quote did that for me this morning. Through the process of writing my book, I’ve broken down a lot of barriers inside myself. Barriers that housed the pain, the fear, the details of the really hard memories. Now that the barriers are slowly being bulldozed to the ground, my true self is showing. I kept so much hidden for so long, and now that everything’s being exposed, I feel so vulnerable. It’s scary to think that through my writing everyone will be able to see so much more. They’ll see all the pieces, rather than just the parts that are relatively put together.

Though allowing others to see all that I went through is a big part of writing this book, it means that I’m pouring out every memory, every ounce of pain and fear, to put myself in an extremely vulnerable position. Last year in my Freshman English class, my professor (Dr. Cox), who is now one of my writing mentors, pointed out that reaching the point of vulnerability in our writing was the best place to connect with others, and ultimately, who we truly are. Dr. Cox also told me that writing isn’t “true” unless it costs the writer something. Though I understand what Dr. Cox means, it’s scary to know that by sharing so many details of my life, strangers are going to get a picture of who I truly am, inside and out. Though I have no doubt that putting myself in a vulnerable position will allow others to better connect with who I truly am, I feel like I’ll no longer have certain memories that are mine and mine alone.

However, through this book, I want to connect. I want to show other kids and families that have kids with Cerebral Palsy that they are not alone. I want to show them that I’ve been there and I understand. However, to do that I must break down all these walls in order to share the memories that will put me in the most vulnerable position possible. However, though vulnerability is scary, it’s also raw, true and the most honest portrayal of myself I can provide to my readers.


19 Responses to “True Writing Lies In Vulnerability.”

  1. rosettephotography March 29, 2012 at 1:04 pm #

    This is great. I love that quote. I too, just sat and stared at it for several moments. I actually read your words first before I set eyes on the quote above it. I really think the beauty of this quote is that we can interpret it how we must.

    For me your post has several significant underlying meanings to me. When I first read this post regarding revealing the pain and fear; We all have that fear. It lies waiting in us.. welling up when we feel threatened, vulnerable, scared. We are scared to know what other people think about OUR private thoughts, ourselves.
    Don’t be afraid. You have all the weapons you need! Words are so powerful that the very course of our history as a world has been changed over and over and over again through the power of words.

    Also, I loved that quote dearly. To me, I have been always searching for something in my life. What it is, I am not entirely sure. I have a feeling I may know what it is.. But it reminds me of something in a box.

    “Your task is not to seek love, but to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”-Rumi

    Maybe that box is within me.. and I have to break down those barriers inside me to find what I need. Through Love.

    And one last thing… I love that you are writing, being passionate, fighting. My best friend of 15 years was born with Cerebral Palsy. She is a stunningly beautiful young woman of 28 years. She is intelligent, my mentor, and my sister (not by birth but by spirit). I love her. As an abled body person, I will never know what it is like to have to go through her daily life the way she does. I cannot step into her shoes. But thank you for being a fellow advocate. She advocates every moment of every day.

    Thank you for such a great post 🙂
    It made my day!

  2. stephenedwards425 March 29, 2012 at 4:23 pm #

    Had breakfast at Sunny Point Cafe a few days ago and was writing about how wonderful this cafe was.
    So gather up your laptop, head down to Sunny Point for a killer breakfast, and pour your heart and soul into writing.
    Pouring out a pure voice is absolutely soul liberating (and did I mention the killer breakfast?).
    Be encouraged!

  3. indialeigh March 29, 2012 at 4:50 pm #

    I LOVE that Rumi quote!

    I congratulate your continued courage. I also and so glad for you that you have Prof Cox. as a mentor. Mostly, humans need support and encouragement to succeed. REading your wrting, I feel like the book was written as you were experiencing your life with CP. The putting it onto paper the natural progression.

    I think Rumi’s wisdom is true for expression too. I’d like to add something to the end of it….and to then vapourize the wall and grab freedom.

  4. Errign March 29, 2012 at 5:41 pm #

    I think this will be a tough journey for you, but you’re no stranger to tough things – you can do it!

  5. momentumofjoy March 29, 2012 at 9:59 pm #

    I was thinking about this very thing today. I love that you wrote this. Thank you sweet girl. 🙂

  6. Ryan Davis March 30, 2012 at 3:03 am #

    I like your dedication towards writing and the way you relate to things. It is true that writers have to give out everything the have their most personal thoughts to make what they write a good read. I believe you cannot write about something you do not know of. And the people who have interest in writing never ever get satisfied with telling people about their insecurities or past or whatever troubles them, only writing it out soothes them. Whether someone read it or not. 🙂

    • ameliaclaire92 March 30, 2012 at 12:27 pm #

      Thank you so much for this, Ryan. It means a lot. 🙂

  7. lattegirl March 30, 2012 at 4:20 pm #

    Love that quote! You INSPIRE.

  8. Alethea Eason March 31, 2012 at 3:24 am #

    This speaks so strongly to me. Thank you.

  9. Gina Marie Cannistraro March 31, 2012 at 2:57 pm #

    Your mentor is wise. There is strength in vulnerability. Remembering that during those moments when you feel exposed, helps you to own it and wield the power of it. The most personal things you share with the strangers who read your writing, are the very things that they are attracted to. They are drawn to your writing because they’re resonating with the pieces of you that are also pieces of them. This is the amazing connection between writer and reader, which is also an integral part of the therapeutic nature of writing. For me personally, I don’t feel my writing is totally complete until I discover that it has somehow touched a reader intimately. Because my writing has its own intention and that intention is not fulfilled without the reader’s experience.

  10. yogikarenk March 31, 2012 at 10:02 pm #

    yes, you nailed it again : ). Keep the heart open!

  11. zen and the art of borderline maintenance April 7, 2012 at 9:41 pm #

    Yes, that’s been the fear for me. Exposing myself. But I am finding more and more of myself and feeling less fear. It is rather amazing, the little bits you get to put to bed just by writing about them.

    What a quote. That hit me I think as hard as it hit you. Raw, honest writing is the best. It has cost me, too, but then I learn to be a little stronger, a little stronger, one tiny step at a time. XO

    Don’t stop with the raw!

    • ameliaclaire92 April 7, 2012 at 11:40 pm #

      I’m glad it could have an impact on you as well. It’s taken me farther recently than I expected to go.

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