Who Knows You Better Than You Know Yourself?

1 Mar

I’m always amazed at how songs can transport you back to a year, a day, a moment. This morning I heard “I’m Only Me When I’m With You” by Taylor Swift, and I instantly thought of my best friend Skidmore and all of the memories we made at Salem (the boarding school I went to for my junior and senior years of high school).

I remember when I met Skidmore. It was orientation in August of 2008, and all the new students were moving in. Skidmore was a senior at the time, and so she was helping move everyone in. Even then, though I didn’t really know her, she seemed interesting. Though it did take us a little while to become close, once we were, it was as if we had been friends for years. In the beginning, Skidmore gave me the run-down of Salem life….explaining some of her best memories and just the ins and outs of dorm living. It wasn’t as if Skidmore was telling me what to do. She just was familiar with everything, so she showed me the ropes. Like I said, it was as if we had been friends for years even though we had just met. I just had this gut feeling that I’d be able to trust her (despite my trust issues), and I just figured that we’d be really great friends no matter what (which has been true). Skidmore was a lover of hugs, and that instantly was a bond between us. Our bond of friendship continued to grow based on our love of country music and many of our views on certain things.

I remember one particular night of my junior year. I was having a rough time because of a comment that my roommate had made regarding my CP. It upset me a lot, and I needed someone to turn to. I needed to find someone to open up to about my past. Not just anyone though. I was too upset and hurt to just explain my past to someone who would just listen due to curiosity rather than a genuine sense of caring and concern. So, I turned to Skidmore, and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I instantly felt relieved (after I got a good bit of the big stuff out), and I still remember how Skidmore reacted. She told me that ever since the first time she saw me, she knew I was different, but not in the sense of my CP, but in the sense of having a fearless attitude towards life. After that night, Skidmore and I became even closer. I found out that she got really attached to friends too, so things worked out in that sense. But after explaining the first bit of my past and knowing that she responded in such a positive way, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I let all of it out, and Skidmore just listened and commented or asked questions when she wished. It was the beginning of one of the most incredible friendships I’ve ever had.

Skidmore and I are very similar. We both get attached to people easily. We love hugs, country music (Taylor Swift in particular), Jodi Picoult, and just other random things. But it’s not those things that make us close necessarily. We trust each other completely, and we both know that we’ll be there for each other no matter what. It’s even gotten to the point now where Skidmore sometimes knows me better than I know myself. She was the first friend to fully understand me, and that means so much to me. It’s not that she knows what it felt like to go through what I did, but she understands the views that I have towards all of it. For instance, I talked to her about my book a while ago. She was the first one of my friends that I went to regarding guidance for my book. Since she knows me so well, I know that she would be able to really help me. She said: “Amelia, in the past you’ve accepted bits and pieces of your past, but I don’t think you’ll accepted it fully. Though you’ve been able to talk about certain memories, you’ve skirted around others because they were painful or scary. This book is going to be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done, because you won’t have the option of beating due to the harshness of the memory, the fear, or the pain. You’ll just have to plunge into it, and have the courage to know that you’ll surface again when you’re ready.” When Skidmore said that, I was shocked. I was shocked because it was pretty much spot on.

I’m certain that Skidmore and I will be best friends forever. Though I’ve used the phrase “best friends” numerous times, the friendship of Skidmore and I is exactly that. Even though sometimes it’s weird to realize that someone knows and understands me better than I know myself, it’s also a good thing to have since in most situations I don’t even have to explain to Skidmore why I made a certain decision or said a certain thing. She just gets me.


3 Responses to “Who Knows You Better Than You Know Yourself?”

  1. metalligimp March 1, 2012 at 11:16 am #

    People look at me like I’m crazy when I tell them that certain seemingly trivial comments when made to a person with a disability about their disability, can stick with them for years, but it’s true..I know it from personal experience.

    I don’t so much have songs like that, but certain lines/lyrics of songs do it for me. Those people that “get you” are the ones you want to hold onto for the rest of your life.

  2. Charles Oyeleke Williams March 1, 2012 at 12:15 pm #

    Thank you for this and i’m glad it related more to the issue of trust in our world…This is the kind of possibility that we get from not holding back trust…
    May I recommend this on my recent post?

    • ameliaclaire92 March 1, 2012 at 12:17 pm #

      Yes, feel free to recommend it. I’m always wanting to gain more readers! 🙂

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